Episode 11  - 

Reparative Role Playing: Conscious Attraction and Attachment

When people unconsciously get into familial role dynamics such as mother-son, father-daughter and rescuer-victim, it can become trauma bonding, replaying of past hurts, never satisfying and it causes resentment and kills sex drives. Apoc and Cassandra outline how to turn these often unconscious trauma bonds into conscious and reparative relationships that promote secure attachment and exciting attraction.

Episode 10  - 

When Radical Relationships Come Full Circle: Polyamory as the New Neighborhood and Community

Postmodern urban life has effectively dissolved the neighborhood community and village scenario that was once the human norm. The atomization of the nuclear family creates isolation for coupled people. There seems to be a new interest in polyamorous lifestyles--people are craving more intimacy.

But is it really sex people are craving or is it something else? We think it's just community and intimate friendships--and yes, sometimes sex!

Episode 9  - 

Less Sex, Bad Sex in a "Sex Positive" Culture: Sex in the Age of Risk Management

People are having less sex than ever even though we are supposedly more sex positive than ever. Apoc and Cassandra discuss two articles, "Sex Negative Society by Jacob Falkovich click for article and The New Yorker's book review on “Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again: Women and Desire in the Age of Consent,” Katherine Angel here for article

Sex is less frequent and naturally with less practice comes less skill which can lead to a bad time. 

Episode 8  - 

Chasing the High: The Perils of Making Your Romantic Partner into a Drug

So many people cannot keep relationships, jump from relationship to relationship, or end up very dissatisfied in their long term relationships because the whole thing isn't just one big peak experience. People chase that new relationship energy high and they stop being present and become quickly unhappy and the relationship doesn't work or dissolves.

Episode 7 - PART 1 - 

Yes, Mistress: Dominant Women, Submissive Men and the Pleasures of Non-Normative Sexual Dynamics

Many men have desires and fantasies about being the object of affection and being chased, many woman have fantasies about hunting and seducing men...Many just want there to be an adult, while others just wish they could fully take charge of the situation. Due to purity culture and so much mainstream programming, these people who think themselves deviant aren't able to fully own and express their desires. We are here to say, YES YOU CAN! You have full permission. We outline, how do go about exploring, what these things really mean, and talk about the many benefits that these practices can offer.


Episode 6 - Do You Wanna Be Empowered or Nah? De-infantilization and the Power and Responsibility of the Feminine

If women and femmes truly want to hold their power and be empowered, we've got to become fully responsible for our lives and our communities. We are strong advocates for community care and personal responsibility when it comes to shifting our paradigm around making women into agency-less children. It's time for us to de-infantilize ourselves and start being the powerful people we truly are.


Episode 5 - Men Need a Mission: Initiating and Integrating the Mature Masculine in the Age of Toxic Masculinity

Men without a mission cause social instability. We are seeing this on a record scale at this point. We break down the problem, offer solutions and techniques and illustrate how adopting these practices benefits everyone. 


Episode 4 - Being Curious in Love: How a Scientific Spirit Can Increase Your Romantic Success

What causes people to have relationship problems? We think one cause is being too rigid in our beliefs, expectations, behaviors, reactions, and thought processes. We outline this issue, what solutions and techniques we think can support with softening up our overly rigid self image and the benefits of trying out this new way of relating. 


Episode 3 - The Wisdom of Kink

Why we think Kink is for everyone. Kink has tools that people in more traditional lifestyles can use! There are lots of issues that arise in traditional relationships and romance and we offer practice solutions for those issues. You don't have to do freaky stuff to benefit from kink!

Episode 2: Mën Are Tra$h, but I Want Them to Worship Me

Where did this phrase come from? How is it keeping women from finding the love they want?


Episode 1: Purity Culture.

It's messing with our relationships —

Sad Intellectual Hotties discuss Part 1 of "Purity Culture." We have our own unique view on it. We talk about how and why it has seeped into all parts of American life. It's not working for our relationships a lot of the time! This is the first look into what we think that path forward might look like. 


We’ve been sharing ideas and having fun, bold, smart conversations about relationships, s€x, and personal transformation for a while now...and we’ve decided (naturally) to start sharing what we’re creating with the world. Two women, united by a common goal: we want to make shit better (better sex, better communication, better relationships with yourself/others) without compromising integrity (AKA without lying to you, infantilizing you, or uncritically reifying weird-ass propagandistic narratives that keep you stuck and needlessly suffering)...all the while having a hoot and laughing (so we don’t much).
Keep your eyes/ears primed for Sad Intellectual Hotties podcast, whereby Cass (Renaissance woman, teacher, coach, entrepreneur, creative, spiritual renegade dropping the anthropology bombs) and Karli (doctoral student, aspiring clinical psychologist, though largely an interdisciplinary autodidact rolling her eyes through every bureaucratic loop-hole she must endure to have enough credibility and training to deliver you the goods) don’t just wax sexily poetic (though we will), but also bring pragmatic tools to (hopefully) improve your goddamn life because tbh we just can’t think of anything better to do with the ones we've got.

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Who are the Sad Intellectual Hotties? What is our Mission? Check us out on IG @sadintellectualhotties and Tiktok @sadintellectualhotties.

Email us: [email protected]

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